What Emerald Sweep Taught me

After countless hours, breaks, and torment, finally I reached a milestone in Neon White. I achieved the Emerald time on every stage in the game. I don't really know exactly how long this effort took me, but I don't think it really matters. It took a while. I was one of the slower people to do this. That's okay.

I wanted to have some more thoughtful reflections in the days that followed, but nothing was really coming to me. I didn't want to leave the achievement completely unacknowledged, though, so here's what I can say:

I'm a slow learner

Maybe something's wrong with me. Maybe things just don't come to me as quickly as they used to. Maybe I have some flaw in my approach to difficult tasks. For whatever reason, it's pretty obvious. I found myself taking much longer than many of my peer players to achieve certain times in the game. It kind of sucks. It's kind of embarrassing. But, at the end of the day, I still achieved the same things. I'm trying to hang onto that.

I can do hard things

This goes hand in hand with the last one. Even if it took me forever, even if I got super frustrated most of the time, I could still do the hard thing. Maybe it's not hard for everyone. It was hard for me. I am trying to look back on this achievement and feel proud of it. Hopefully I can do that.

Tension is the enemy of everything

This appears to be true in just about everything you do: Tension is bad. Don't grip the controller too tight, you'll flub your inputs. Don't swing your golf club too hard. Don't tense up your jaw while singing. Tension creates bad, uncontrollable outcomes. Learning to keep my hands calm in stressful moments was pivotal. I'm still fighting that battle every time I play, but becoming aware of it was extremely important.

I'd like to extend thanks to the many people in the Neon White Console Speedrunning server on Discord for advice, support, and an audience that motivated me to continue. You're cool people.