"I hate fashion"

September 24, 2025

What do I mean by this? What do I hate?

I don't hate clothes. I am not a nudist. I love finding or putting together an outfit that makes me happy. I like that clothing can be a tool to show a new side of yourself. I have plenty of favorite clothing items that reflect my style and feel comfortable. The sensation of a soft new hoodie fills me with warmth. I enjoy wearing clothes that I enjoy!

What I really hate is the culture around clothes. There are so many unspoken rules. I'm not interested in learning them at this point, but I feel so clearly out of the loop and like I had missed some set of instructions that so many others got.

The issue for me is that you don't get to opt out of the game of fashion. If you're into clothes, or feeling particularly motivated to look a certain way, the world gets to be a stage upon which to hone your craft and solicit feedback. If you're not into clothes, or you're depressed, or overslept, or broke or what have you, you're still beholden to the same standards, expectations, and judgment that you get to experience on a good day. Clothes that make you feel like you look good can still be out of line with what others expect. How many memes are there about making fun of how other people dress? It's not acceptable to wear comfortable shorts and a graphic tee celebrating one of your hobbies. I've seen the phrase "adults with backpacks" uttered with palpable venom radiating from it. How you dress is an ever present source of scrutiny on your character, your personality, and your value as a person. It's exhausting, and it's not fun.

Working an office job in the finance industry really submerged me in the world of the unspoken rules. Why does everyone dress the same? Where did they learn to do this? Waiting at the train station, surrounded by my colleagues, makes me feel like such an outsider to the point where I start to feel like I'm not even a real person. There are the obvious differences, like a price tag: I don't buy expensive clothes most of the time, and while I can appreciate them, a majority of my clothes are inexpensive. I know that will reflect on my overall look to some extent when I'm in a crowd of office workers.

Another persistent pain point for me is how clothes fit. Shopping for clothes as a big guy is pretty frustrating. I'm still finding what shapes make me feel confident, but everything I pick seems to be out of sync with what's around me. It can be really alienating, even when I feel confident with my outfit when I leave the house in the morning.

What does this all mean for me? I will continue to work on my relationship with clothes. I won't let others ruin them for me. I will find new, colorful ways to convey myself with pride. I will express respect and admiration for my friends' clothing choices when they are excited. I will reserve my feedback for when it is asked for, and I encourage you all to do the same.

- Jordan/Boing